Lyrics
June 9th, 2006
Misc. show specific songs…
Jada Pinkett Smith (Just Laid an Egg)
Multiplication Table (short version)
Inuit Jargon National Anthem
Lance Bass (2005 Edit)
Punkie Brewste (2006 Edit)
Scroll down for more…
Jada Pinkett Smith (Just Laid an Egg)
Baby shut up
Put some wine in my cup
Heat up the pan
You know I’m your deep fried lover-man
I’m about to explode
Dan Brown wrote The DaVinci Code
Come here Smith
I’m about to give you a Jadakiss
[Chorus]
Sunny side up or Eggland’s Best
My Matrix baby can’t get no rest
Jada Pinkett Smith
Just laid an egg
I’ll take you to Hot Topic
They have a sale at the mall
I’ll treat you like a princess
I’ve got a van with a disco ball
Do you even know who Jada Pinkett Smith is?!
[x4]
Spoken:
Well she’s married to Will Smith
and she was in the second two Matrix Movies and Set it Off
Spoken 2:
You know, I really like that Will Smith character
Sunny Side up or Eggland’s Best
My Matrix baby can’t get no rest
Jada Pinkett Smith
Keeps laying those eggs
Sunny Side up or Eggland’s Best
She got a ‘grade A’ on her pregnacy test
‘Cause Jada Pinkett Smith
Just laid an egg
Multiplication Table (short version)
Multiplication table
It’s like Cain without Abel
Or Aesop without a fable
You know there’s just nothing to it
Big ole’ crate made out of wood
You know it always made me feel good
But now we made it a table
Multiplication table
It’s like a barn without a stable
Like a Clark without a Gabel
You know there’s just something missing
Russian Mig made out of wood
You know it always made me feel good
But now we made it a table
We’ve sailed across the ocean
Traversed the arctic blue
We’ve fought a million dragons
To sing this song to you
A song of windswept glory
Of which you too can see
If you look it up on Google
Or even Ask Jeeeeeeves!
Meet with friends and family
To play the Jargon games
You can even have a seance…
Over your dogs remains!
Chow down on pumpkin pie
Decorate the Jargon tree,
Open up the presents,
And all the naked ladies!
(1, 2, 3, 4)
Well it’s not like my grandmother said
When she tucked me and my brother in bed
She said son you can reach for the stars
But all I wanna do is go to mars
[Chorus]
All I wanna do is go to Mars
To see the black holes and the pulsars and the stars
All I wanna do is go to Mars
They said space is faraway
They said that almost everyday
I said I wanna reach for the stars
Come with me where we can be
Spinin’ round the sun
You know space is really fun
In zero gravity
[David Bowie esque] Super-Awesome-Electric-Lazer-Beams
Well it’s not like my grandmother said
When she tucked me and my brother in bed
She said son you can reach for the stars
But all I wanna do is go to mars
Punk punk punk punk
We’re a poppy punk band
Pop punk you can’t stand
Poppy punker punk band
Pop punk at Disney Land
Poppy punky punk band
Punk punk punk punk reggae breakdown!
Punk band, with a reggae breakdown
So you think that we have a unique sound (alright!)
But really, we are very crappy (ya mon)
But you’ll still, buy all of our CDs
Punkie Brewster!
Soliel Moonfrye!
Pop punk!
You suck!
We passed the one minute mark!
Bloody Wombat Clamps
We Do Awesome
There’s No Chairs Anywhere (Except This One)
G.O.H.M.
Jack White Guitar Solo
Honwatly
Honwatly
Yo, let’s roll…Hey what’s up… Miss Piggy in the city…1, 2…3, 4
You hear it in the streets with cars alarmin’
(What’s that, son?) It’s Inuit Jargon!
Control the Empire like Grand Moff Tarkin
Go directly to jail this ain’t free parkin’
(That’s hot fudge!)
And you know this spit is fresh
Get on our level don’t try
’cause we’s fresh to death
The flow drips your spot
it rolls down your shoulder and loves the rest
?????????????????????
don’t distress
we ain’t got no stress
we can’t –stress you’re a mess,
You can’t step to this — tremendous
Sell the dishwasher and the family mule
‘Cause Matt and Andrew will take you back to school
Hot like magma or a blowtorch tool
(That’s hot!)
The J will boil water and evaporate the kiddie pool
I’ma test your auditory finess
Follow these beats as they thump from your chest
‘Inuition’ so consisent, you won’t expect less
Like throwing dynamite into a bird’s nest
Goin’ To The Beach
Lips
Smoke Some Blunthhs
Lance Bass
Punkie Brewster
Stained Wood
Nail Clippers
There’s No Chairs Anywhere (Except That One)
Good Luck, Maria
How Hot Is Our Flows feat. DJ Tanner
Ice Cream Social
Wildlife Issues
All The Presidents Men
Goin’ to the Beach with my friends havin’ fun
We’re set to arrive by the noon day sun
A lot of my squad had second thoughts
Runnin’ on the shore was way too hot
Think of all the fellas that we’ll meet there
Bright blue eyes and long blond hair
Campin’ on the beach now all night long
Drinkin’ some beers and we’re singin’ this song
Singin’…
Shootin’ Nazis,
Amphibious landing,
Goin’ to the beach has, never been so demanding
Some of my friends and brothers
We know ain’t gonna make it
But it’s a free vacation, well we might as well take it
We might as well take it
The sand between my toes and the Germans in the pillbox
Gettin’ out my rifle
Water logged gym socks
Ain’t no time for surfin’ when you’re dodging land mines
and if I get wounded
Well I’ll be outta here, in no-time
Singin’…
Shootin’ Nazis,
Amphibious landing,
Goin’ to the beach has never been so demanding
Some of my friends and brothers
We know ain’t gonna make it
But it’s a free vacation, well we might as well take it
We might as well take it
[Three part scatting breaking]
Shootin’ Nazis,
Amphibious landing,
Goin’ to the beach has never been so demanding
All of my friends and brothers
We know ain’t gonna make it
But it’s a free vacation, well we might as well take it
We might as well take it
We might as well… take it
Do You Really Wanna Put Your Lips On This?
[Spoken] See ya later alligator, it’s time for some tators…
Do you really wanna put your lips on this?
Do you really wanna give my flute a kiss?
My flute was made in Korea to order
It’s called my fifth grade recorder
My flute is long [?] and my shaft [?] is wide
And it’s fifty miles across on each side
The ladies love it when I play that special way
One day honey I’ll play for you today
Do you really wanna put your lips on this honey?
Do you really wanna give my [totally unpronouncable mumble] a kiss?
Do you really wanna put your mouth on my recorder
It was made in Korea to order
You wanna put your mouth on my flute baby, ha ha
I think so
Yeah I see you
Ha ha yeah, I like it when you do that with your hair
Oh yeah, Oh yeah
Yeah you want my flute
Oh gimme some more, oh gimme some more baby
Do you really wanna put your lips on this honey?
Do you really wanna give the flute a kiss?
Do you really want my, fifth grade recorder
It was made in Korea to order
It was made in Korea to order
It was my, fifth grade recorder
And you put your mouth on and you blow it
Oh baby come on, show it!
Fifth grade recorder
Fifth grade recorder
Fifth grade recorder!
(Spoken) I think I need to take off my shirt for this one
Yeah… lemme flex a little bit
My name’s Vin
It’s time to party baby
Takin’ off my shirt when I go out
Makes all the girlies want to shout
I work out for months and months
But chill out man cause we’re smokin’ some blunthhs
Smokin’ some blunthhs night and day
Smokin’ some blunthhs from here, here to L. A.
Smokin’ some blunthhs well we all like it
Gimme that football and I will hike it
(Spoken) Let’s play some football guys
Lemme take off my shirt
Oh man, I’m pretty hot
People say I look like Vin Diesel
I think I look like Vin Diesel too
I’m much stronger than him though
Check this out
I benched 250 for about two months
Then I got up and smoked some blunthhs
I benched 250 for a couple a’ weeks
We smoked some blunthhs now we are peaked
I love blunthhs! Oh my Gawd I love blunthhs so much -
almost as much as I love takin’ my shirt off, it’s so cool
seriously guys
Oh my gawd watch me do push ups
1! 2! 3! Now this is my favorite one guys, hold on watch this one
4! 5!
Oh I’m, I’m feelin’ the sweat on this one
Oh gawd, oh gawd
Some pushups
one, two, three, four, five, six seven
one, two, three, four, five, six seven
That’s fourteen baby, oh my gawd that’s fourteen
Lemme do fourteen more
one, two, three, four, five, six seven
one, two, three, four, five, six seven
Oh my gawd that’s like fourteen plus fourteen
I don’t know what that is but that’s, that’s like a lot of pushups guys
Uh!
Smokin’ some blunthhs
Night and day
Makes me want to say
I’m Vin
(1, 2, 3, 4)
Well it’s not like my grandmother said
When she tucked me and my brother in bed
She said son you can reach for the stars
But all I wanna do is go to mars
All I wanna do is go to Mars
To see the black holes and the pulsars and the quasars and the stars
We can look at the sky
We can see it whole
We can dig in the ground
We can live like moles
They said Mars is faraway
They said that almost everyday
I said I wanna reach for the stars
Come with me where we can be
I said come with me away to Mars
All I wanna do is go to Mars
To see the black holes, and the pulsars, and the quasars, and the stars
We can see the sky
We can see it whole
We can dig in the ground
We can live like moles
Come away with me to our special land
We can play in the craters
And make, red sand castles
We can lay down
We can look at the stars
We’ll finally be together
We’ll be on Mars
All I wanna do is go to Mars
We can see castles, black holes, quasars, and the stars
We can live like moles, diggin’ holes
In the craters and the mountains and the valleys and the rivers
All I wanna do is go to Mars
To see the black holes and the quasars and the pulsars and the stars
We can look at the sky
We can see it whole
We can dig in the ground
We can live, like moles
Punkie Brewster
Oi, oi oi oi oi
Oi, oi
Punk punk punk punk
We’re a punky punk band
Punk music you can’t stand
Punky punker punk band
Punk music you can’t stand
Punk music [totally unintelligible]
Punk punk punk punk
(Ya mon)
Punk band with a reggae breakdown
So you think that we have a unique sound (Ya mon)
But really, we are very shitty
But you’ll still, buy all of our CDs
Punkie Brewster!
Uhn!
Soleil Moonfrye!
Punk rock!
You suck!
We passed the one minute mark!
Goodbye ocean, hello moon
The children are playin’ they’re comin’ out soon
American government 15th edition
Puts students directly in touch with great authors
Political leaders who have shaped and are shaping
American government since its first edition
This reader provides a strong balanced blend
Of classical readings that illustrate and amplify
Important concepts in American government
Stained wood, makes me feel good
Stained wood, makes me feel good
Philippines brand, naturally delicious, dried mangos
without a doubt
the best tasting dried mangos
in the world
For centuries the region of Seabreast has sultry
climate and fertile soil has been ideal
for propagating the most delicious mango
Stained wood, makes me feel good
Stained wood, makes me feel good
Experiencing in just one bite
Understand
Lush, sweet and tasty
Stained wood
Nail Clippers
Girl, you know its to see
My nails are as long as can be
I haven’t cut them since ‘93
The trip is far and the road is long
But we’re goin’ to the store you can come along
and get
Nail clippers!
Like the big dipper
Or some male strippers
Yeah
Hey hey hey
Yeah yeah yeah
Girl, you know you’re clippin’ so good
I know I knew that you would
I knew that you, understood
You’re my funky punky fly nail clipper girl
and you know that you rock the personal hygiene world
with your
[Rockin’ harmonica solo]
(Hey) x 5
Gimme some
Nail clippers!
Like the big dipper
Or some male strippers
Yeah
Hey hey hey
Yeah yeah yeah
Gimme some
Nail clippers!
Yeah yeah yeah
Like the big dipper
Yeah yeah yeah
There’s No Chairs Anywhere (Except For That One)
Between Brighton and London
Down to New Orleans
There’s no chairs anywhere
That I can put my bum in
There’s no chairs anywhere
I can sit down and relax
There’s no chairs anywhere
I’m about to get the axe
Uhn! Oi!
Hey that’s nothin’ but rubbish
Let’s bring it back one more time
Get a few more pints
There’s no chairs anywhere
From Brighton to L.A.
There’s no chairs anywhere
That’s what the Queen Mother say
There’s no chairs anywhere,
Put in my Blur CD
Put it on Chinese Bombs
That’s on track twenty
There’s no chairs anywhere
So I can hear my song
So we’re going to get two pints
And go fighting all night long
[Spoken] Oi, no chairs in this pub mates lets do some fighting
You wanna fight? You wanna fight!?
(I’m Russel Crowe!)
You wanna fight? (Oi)
You wanna fight? (Yah mon)
Oi. Yah mon. Me too oi oi
There’s no chairs anywhere
So we’re going to go fightin’
There’s no chairs anywhere
From Liverpool to Brighton
How Hot Is Our Flows feat. DJ Tanner
[Spoken] Hey DJ Tanner what’s up baby… Gimme something my boys from Florida can bounce to
Uh! Woo! Get me in the headphones, Come on headphones baby.
You know my flow’s like a hot potato
I got my now than a Now And Later
Got more than the Ohio river
Got hot flows that’ll make you shiver!
Yo, here’s I go
My name’s Matt Reucker and I’m the number one stunner
If this was world War II I’d be the top machine gunner [Gunner!]
Show these punks that rap a formidable style
My flows like a river and that river is wild
You look like a child walking trough a turnstile
Cause yo’ raps is weak while my beats is wild
(DJ Tanner!)
You know why…
Well you know that Starbucks got the hot joe
Yo DJ Tanner is where you gotta go
To get the hot beats cause you all know
DJ Tanner, how hot is our flows?
Sheit… Damn skippy. Oh baby.
Hit me up with that second verse.
Drop the beat sheit dawg.
Ah man, uh, uh. uh, uh.
DJ Tanner got the beats with all the hot tracks
I flow so good while he scratch the hot wax
Yo, you know that Starbucks got the hot joe
DJ Tanner is where you gotta go
To get the hot beats, ’cause you all know
DJ Tanner, how hot is our flows?
Yo.
You know that Starbucks got the hot joe
DJ Tanner is where you gotta go
To get the hot beats, ’cause you all know
DJ Tanner, how hot is
How hot is our flows?
You gotta take me out…
[Obnoxious loud nasal sound]
2004 baby!
Inuit Jargon. Nothin’ but killas and guerrillas.
Word up to Boriqua Mafia…
DJ Tanner, DJ Tanner bring us out…
Cherry 7-Up
Hey baby what’s up
Let’s go to the ice cream social
Saturday night eating ice cream with you
I love my girl and she loves me too
We’re goin’ to the ice cream social
(Goin’ to the ice cream social)
Sittin’ in this booth just me and my girl
In the ice cream parlor we’re on top of the world
I’m glad we’re goin’ steady and I hope you’re ready
For this banana split, let’s dig into it
Let’s go to the ice cream social
(Goin’ to the ice cream social)
Chocolate chip, rocky road
Orange sherbert, cookie dough
It all tastes better with you
Banana split, vanilla shake
Brain freeze, tummy ache
I bear it all for you…
I love you
Sprinkles
Berries
Hot fudge
Everything that we’d want in the world
Just me and my girl
Chocolate chip, rocky road
Orange sherbert, cookie dough
It all tastes better with you
Banana split, vanilla shake
Brain freeze, tummy ache
I bear it all for you…
Chocolate chip, rocky road
Orange sherbert, cookie dough
It all tastes better with you
Banana split, vanilla shake
Brain freeze, tummy ache
I bear it all for you…
I love you
A fruited plain
An open sky…
A mountain valley
A hooker’s… thigh
A lake of justice
A stream of hope
Dangling from a mountain
With weeds and rope
Now is the time
Now is the place?
We are the people…
The human race
We need to strive to free
All of those who need to be free
Listen to me
Hey! Yeh…
[totally incomprehesible verbal tics]
Children, they are dying
Manatees, they are crying!
Ocean dumpage and oil spills
Hmmm, they are being killed
Streams of justice
Lakes of hope
Dangling from the weeds and rope
In the valleys
Justice and courage
Listen to the people
They hear us crying
Calling out to the horizon
We’re barely holding on to dying
When you’re recording a musical album
As complex and almost existential as Inuit Jargon’s
A lot of questions come to your mind late at night
You know like, sometimes the clouds look like stuff,
And the sometimes they don’t stuff,
You know like, what’s with that?
And like, like, what is a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?
There’s no cereal here,
There’s no need for you to come along
Inuit Jargon.
We’re all about breaking boundaries,
Boundaries that might have been broken a long time ago
But we’re just gonna like rebreak them… again.
That’s what we’re all about
Hardcore rocking.
Anal sex…
Without lubricant.
That’s what Inuit Jargon is about.
I don’t know what I’m saying here
Do we exist?
Am I even speaking right now?
Are you even hearing me right now?
If you couldn’t hear me, how could you hear that question I just asked to answer it?
Do we exist? Are we real? What is the nature of reality?
Why am I asking you these questions?
Are we a rock band… or philosophers?
You decide.
Pumpkin Pie, fresh from the oven
You need to get some my lovin’
You come from a coven of ten thousand witches
I need to have sex with ten thousand bitches
Hit me!
Pumpkin pie… Pumpkin pie…
Lemme have your, your pie baby.
Pumpkin pie, hot from the oven
Will you get some of my lovin’
Pumpkin pie on the windowsill
Let your heart be still
Pumpkin pie on the floor
I bet you want some more of my love
From above
Ten thousand angels came down to me they said Shaun…
Ten thousand angels came to me they said
Shaun, pie will will set them free
I was like, Angels I don’t know if if I can do this
They said don’t be Judas
(They said don’t rip off Tenacious D)
(They also said don’t rip off the Roots)
This is all Jesus Christ Superstar
(Directed by Paul Shaffer)
It’s over…
